Choosing The Right Divorce Lawyer

It is hard to know where to turn when you start going through a divorce. This is partially because few of us have had experience with the legal ins and outs.  Don’t waste time trying to find a lawyer to handle your divorce.  Follow the steps below when looking for a divorce attorney specializing in family law.

Be Realistic

Going through a divorce is an emotional journey.  This will be hard but you must be realistic when proceeding with your divorce.  The sole reason you are going through the legal process of divorce is to dissolve the assets you have built up together and to determine the best path for normalcy in your children’s lives. The job of your divorce attorney is not to sit and sympathize with you; they are there to listen but their most important role is to provide you will the best possible outcome for after your divorce.

Stay Focused

This will be harder than it sounds.  The ultimate goal is to stay focused on the end result.  Don’t get caught up in your hatred for ex.  Don’t get too sentimental over the little things when negotiating marital assets; those are just things and can be replaced.  Keep focused on your divorce, getting through the process quickly, ending up with as little financial damage and having your family unit together as much as possible.

Understand The Goal

Know what you want out of your divorce.  Are you looking for a battle where you get each and everything possible from the other person?  Do you want to get through the process with as little ill effect on yourself and your children?  Mediation, with or without the help of a divorce lawyer can often be less expensive than a full blown battle in front of a judge.  Depending on your end goal will determine what type of divorce you will have.

Interview & Research Divorce Attorney’s

Don’t necessarily hire the first attorney you meet.  It is best to meet and interview with at least three different divorce attorneys specializing in family law.  Consider each attorneys retainer fee as well as their hourly rate.  Most attorneys will not negotiate their fees.  Ask for referrals and during your consult be sure to find an attorney that is listening to you and offering you an outcome that you can agree with.

Make A Choice

Now is time to make a decision on an attorney to hire.  Take into consideration the tips above; be realistic, stay focused, know your end goal and find an attorney to represent you that remains in line with your own personal criteria.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at

Finding A Divorce Attorney To Represent You

Where do you turn when you are faced with divorce?  Most people don’t really know the legal ins and outs.  Navigating the difficult process of divorce requires that you hire an expert divorce attorney, preferably one that is specialized in all aspects of family law.  Finding the right divorce attorney is key in a faster, less expensive divorce.  People that complain of messy, drawn out, expensive divorces most likely did not take the time to seek out the support of the right divorce attorney for their situation.  In this article we will give you tips on finding and choosing the right divorce lawyer.

Six Steps When Choosing The Perfect Divorce Attorney

1)      Be Practical

During a divorce this can be a really lofty goal.  It is important to maintain your emotional balance throughout the divorce and understand that the only purpose in your divorce is to divide your joint assets and solve issues in child custody.  Anger, aggravation, pain, sadness and frustration are only a few of the emotions that will strike you throughout this process but don’t let those take over.  You need to be sensible when it comes to the demands you place on your attorney.

2)      Pay Attention To Your Goal

The ultimate goal is to get a divorce without any depreciation to your lifestyle. The end goal is to finalize your divorce, split assets and walk away fairly unscathed.  When children are involved the end goal may be a bit different but generally remains the same.

3)      Identify What You Want

Identifying what you want is not only about marital assets, custody agreements and alimony; it also has to do with the type of divorce you want.  If you are looking at getting the most out of your spouse your divorce will be different than a divorce in which both spouses are willing to compromise and mediate the details of their divorce without litigation.  Different situations require different types of divorce attorneys.  You will want to make sure your attorney is one that can help you get exactly what you want out of your divorce.

4)      Consult With At Least Three Different Divorce and Family Law Attorneys

When searching for an attorney it is best to go online and look for divorce attorneys that work in your area.  Once you have reviewed their websites set up consultations with the three that best look like they will fit with what you are looking for out of your divorce.  Once you meet with them in person you will get a better feel for which on is perfect for your needs.

5)      Be Wary Of Red Flags

Don’t fall for a divorce attorney that tells you everything you want to hear to close the deal.  Look for red flags that make you uncomfortable and follow your gut feelings.  You won’t always hear what you want and that is actually the type of divorce attorney you need; one that will tell you how it is even when it isn’t what you want to hear.

6)      Choose The Divorce Attorney That Will Represent You

The final step is to choose the attorney that will represent you and your best interest.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at

Processing Your Divorce WIth Help From A Divorce Attorney

The ending of your marriage is never easy.  Here are a few tips for men, fathers going through the divorce process to help.

Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

The ending of your marriage is never easy.  Here are a few tips for men, fathers going through the divorce process to help.

Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

It is never easy to go through a traumatic experience and pull yourself out of it but that is the best thing you can do as a man going through a divorce.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get over your own personal pity party and start living your new life.  You are not the only one who is going through a divorce and you will survive.  If you are sure your marriage is over, the papers have been served and signed, it is time to resign yourself to the fact your marriage is over.  It is time to move on.  Grieve for a bit but don’t allow yourself to be sucked into thriving off of pity.  Seek professional services for your divorce.  Counseling is not only something available for women in divorce but is also available for men, fathers going through a divorce as well.

Find A Divorce Attorney

Find legal representation as soon as soon as you realize that you are in fact in the midst of a divorce or separation.  A divorce attorney, especially one that specializes in men going through the divorce process will represent your best interest.  What happens frequently in divorce is that the male figure seeks to claim responsibility for a ruined marriage.  Men are fixers and when they are unable to fix their marriage the next best thing for them is to accept responsibility, so they believe.

Get Your Finances In Order

This is far from the truth and can leave many men in financial ruin.  If a divorce is occurring it is because two people failed to be able to create a life together.  No one person is at fault and therefore no one person should take that entire responsibility on themselves.  Don’t end your marriage and believe you are destined to live in financial ruin.  That is not the case.  This is just one of the many reasons men should seek the advice of a professional divorce attorney as soon as they are certain the marriage is coming to an end.

Be There For Your Children

Never stop being a part of your children’s lives and don’t move out of your family home until you have met with a divorce attorney.  Getting a divorce is hard on all parties involved and should be done with a conscience effort to each decision that is made.  Consider your welfare as well as that of your children. Going through a divorce is a step by step process in which a professional divorce attorney for men will advise you in each step along the way.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at

Surviving The Holidays During A Divorce

Being newly divorced or separated around the holidays is difficult.  How do you go on putting a smile on your face and cheer in your voice when you are still healing on the inside?  Without any visible signs your inner wounds often go unnoticed and end up buried by the chaos everyone else is experiencing with the normal ins and outs of the season. Not only is this time of year difficult for you but also your children who will be experiencing a completely new experience too.  No matter how hard you and your ex work to create a normal holiday your children will still be keen to that missing person on Christmas morning.

Below you will find some survival tips to help you and your family make it through the holiday with a smile and your sanity.

When you are feeling negative emotions from your separation or divorce you need to deal with them, feel them fully and find a way to let them go.  This process is different for each and every divorcee I have ever met.  One thing that is the same is that the negative emotions drag individuals into a private abyss that harbors resentment and anger that will eat your spirit alive if not dealt with and thrown out.  There is no reason to hold on to resentment and bitterness.  It will make you sick which in turn will affect your children and their wellbeing.  Getting the help you need will allow you to pack your negative emotions up and send them away for good.    This alone is the best holiday gift you can give to not only yourself but to everyone around you.

The next thing that you can do is to force yourself to get out there are relay positive energy to everyone whose path you cross.  This may be incredibly difficult given the situation you are experiencing but it is important to consider what they too may be going through.  Even if you are not feeling the merriment of the season pay for the coffee of a stranger, mail a thank you note for something that you may not normally send one for or start a tradition with your kids.  Whatever it takes get out there and bring joy into someone else’s life.  Taking the focus off of your hurt and bringing positive thoughts into your day will help you to remember the joy that is a part of the holiday season.

Consider taking time, either on your own or with your children to help someone who is less fortunate then you are.  It doesn’t matter how difficult your situation is, I guarantee you can find someone who is worse off.  Work to supply meals to those that will be without, give your children money to go buy toys, clothes and books for children living in shelter or visit the elderly.  Making someone else’s situation better is bound to bring the spirit to you.

Take some time for yourself to explore the new you.  After a divorce you no longer have to compromise with anyone.  It is time to do things the way you want to. Embrace your own opinion and move forth considering what is healthy and right for you.  When children are involved this may not be as simple as it sounds.  You will need to consider them in all major decisions that affect their lives just as you would have before.

The divorce attorney’s may no longer be in the picture, the fighting may have settled and assets been split but the hurt may still exist even during the holiday season.  The best thing you can do is to fake it till you make it.  This not only encourages you to move on to a healthy new life but also helps to promote balance and positive energy to your children.  The holiday season is something new and exciting after a divorce.  You can create new traditions to replace ones you weren’t so fond of and keep those you want without having to think about your ex’s feeling or their family either.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at

Surviving The Holiday As A Newly Divorced Dad

As a divorce father, the trickiest times of year fall around children’s birthdays and throughout the holiday season.  This is especially true for newly divorced dads.  With each year that passes new traditions start to take hold and the season pass without thinking too much about the way things used to be.  Unfortunately it takes time to get comfortable with the way the family is now structured as well as creating new rituals, traditions and special moments together.

When it comes to raising children after divorce there are some couples who can happily agree on everything to do with their children.  They jointly are involved in everything and are comfortable with the new life each has developed.  However, there are some couples that no matter what have a hard time agreeing on a joint way to handle anything involving their children.

Sharing custody can happen in a way that you are both a part of everything and that the only basic difference is which house the kids are sleeping at that night.  It can also be drastically different, one in which the only time you have with your children is the time you are scheduled with them.  You can only attend sporting events when the kids are on your time, you can only attend school functions that fall during your allotted custody time.  The arrangement you have throughout the year will really dictate the natural progression of the holiday season.

If you and your spouse can’t stand one another it is unfathomable that Santa will make just one visit to an agreed upon destination.  If this is the case and you find yourselves unable to put aside your differences you will have to create a new tradition with your children.  Maybe on the Christmas you don’t have the children Santa brings a destination vacation instead of presents.  Then during your allotted time you can go away with them and spend time making memories that have nothing to do with the normal holiday traditions.  On the years in which they celebrate Christmas with you consider going all out on traditional happenings found throughout the season.  The key is to be flexible.  Enjoy the time that you have with them instead of allowing the focus to be on the time without them.

No matter what your level of communication is with your ex it is always advisable to have a plan.  Choose to be proactive in planning for holidays, birthdays etc… and be willing to be the flexible parent.  This goes a long way with making the time your children have with you less stressful.  You may find that you are the one always biting the bullet especially when special occasions come up.  This is hard to take in at first but your ability to flow through these situations will stay with your children forever.  They will see you as the one sacrificing and the one easing their distress.  Choose to be kind and generous.  It is something that your kids will appreciate.

This being said you don’t have to be a push over.  Of course, if there is an issue it is best to meet with your divorce attorney and ask for guidance.  Maybe it is time to meet with friend of the court to work out a more suitable agreement, something that better addresses special occasions within the children’s lives.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at


When Is Divorce The Only Option Left

Divorce is not an easy way out of a marriage that is unsatisfying.  Many people consider divorce as a last resort and try incredibly hard to make their way through the difficult times in their marriages.  Vows are taken seriously and people fight to make relationships work. That is why when a divorce occurs it is not taken lightly as it is not an easy wait out of something that you worked so hard to revive.  In fact the divorce process is anything but simple but sometimes it is the only way out of a difficult situation that cannot be fixed.

If you have considered every other option and have found that a divorce is inevitable consider the following article.  It will help you better understand a variety of scenarios in which a divorce is for sure a better option for both you and your spouse.

  • A divorce is probable when you have really taken every other step to make your relationship work.  There are times when your marriage will have a bunch of rough patches but with a little work and understanding they can be repaired.  If you have been to marriage counseling and have put in an honest effort into fixing the issues in your relationship than divorce may be all that is left.  Divorce might be the only option left to ensure that you and your spouse don’t spend the rest of your lives making one another miserable.
  • When two people have grown apart and have completely changed there may be no way to create what you had to begin with.  If the person you married long ago is not the person you are married to now a divorce is often in your cards. When your goals, interests and future dreams no longer align it may be time to look into divorce as your next step.  When the gap between who you were and who you are now cannot be gapped it is time to call it quits.
  • If you can’t stand one another and are avoiding all contact with each other it is time to consider options in ending your marriage.   If you can’t talk with each other without it turning into an argument you can be assured you have problems in your marriage that cannot be fixed.  Your situation would be better off ending in divorce.
  • When you start to see your marriage or lack thereof affecting your children it is time to consider separating.  Believe it or not even with the difficulties that divorce causes children staying in an unhappy relationship that is visual to your children is worse.  Your children will be happier when they see that the two people that love them most in the world are happy as well.

When you have hit the wall and divorce is the option that your marriage is heading in contact a divorce attorney.  Talking with an attorney that specializes in divorce and family law will allow you to get an upper hand with your life after divorce.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at

Rules Of Dating As A Divorced Father

Dating as a divorced parent can often be difficult.  This is especially true for dads.  There is a lot to prove to not only their children but also their ex and future partners.  Divorces fathers often have only part time custody therefore tend to be less present with their everyday lives.  This leaves them missing out on a lot of the little things that account for the lives of their children. That also means that when they do have time to spend with their children they really need to make every minute count.

Dating can often be a bit difficult for divorced dads.  There is a lot to juggle while maintaining a healthy balance between time for yourself, time with your children and time for a significant other.  When divorced dads start back into the dating world they should do so with caution.  There is a lot to consider.  Not only do you need to follow the normal rules of dating but also a new set of rules for divorced fathers.

First and most importantly never date or marry an individual that feels she deserves all of your attention and demands to be put ahead of your children.  No matter what she brings to the table no women is worth placing your children and their needs on the back burner.  When you had children you made the commitment to put them before anyone else in your life.

Don’t compare children.  This is especially true among siblings and step siblings.  When you begin to compare them to one another they will begin to feel doubt in themselves and the love that you have for them.  All children are different and unique in their own ways.  Praise them for who they are and what they bring to the table.  Each child offers something special to the family unit.

When you are a divorced father it is crucial that you do everything in your power to stay connected with your children.  You need to be on time and attentive to them.  Make a special effort to be at every event be it birthdays, sports, field trips and so on.  Your presence or lack thereof will be noticed by your children, your ex and so will your significant other.  If the person you are dating is someone you will want to be with forever they should encourage this.

Another important piece of the puzzle is that you live where your children live at least until they are out of school.  This will ensure that you are there for as many big and little events as you can be.  When you are dating be clear that you have no intentions of uprooting your life until your children are grown.  You need to be clear that they are dating you and that your relationship is important but so is the relationship you share with your children.

Last but not least, when dating don’t discuss your ex-wife, especially in front of your children.  When dating, your ex is off limits in conversations with your significant other while you are with your children.  They feed off of your negativity and will hold that against you later on in life.

It is a whole new world being a divorced father.  Every aspect of life with change just a little bit none more so than your dating life.  Take it all in, enjoy the ride and remember to be in the front seat of the roller coaster with your children!

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at

Keeping A Positive Outlook During Divorce

Men going through the divorce process, especially when children are involved, are clearly at a disadvantage. Women have been favored and continue to be throughout divorce proceedings. Society likes to view women as victims while acting like all men are scoundrels. The problem with this is that in order for a marriage to fail both parties are accountable. No one is without fault in a divorce.

Lots of men are stigmatized by the image of men in our culture being the bread winners for so long. Even though this image is no longer representative of the society we live in today it is still an issue that is facing men in divorce. Financially men are seen as the provider leaving them with the financial burden in divorce. This is a troubling matter especially with the role reversal that is common in today’s homes. More men are staying home while their wives return to work. An even more common element in homes today is the presence of two working parents. Divorce is never clear cut.

If you are a man going through a divorce it is important that you keep your head up and don’t allow yourself to get depressed. Feeling low about yourself only leads you into a situation where you are more easily taken advantage of. Keeping a positive outlook on life and a positive frame of mind allows you to focus on a better outcome to your divorce. Keep disagreements with your spouse to a minimum. This will help eliminate any more bad blood while allowing you to focus on your new optimistic approach to your life after divorce.

While you are moving through your divorce keep an eye on all assets and liabilities. Keep track of money that is being spent on credit cards and withdrawn from joint bank accounts. Your wives divorce attorney will tell her to do the same. This is not meant to be sneaky but to prevent you from being responsible for joint debt that occurs while you are in the process of divorcing. At the end of the divorce you want to remain financially stable. This will not be possible if joint accounts are wiped out and credit card debt is racked up during the dissolution of your marriage.

If you have been the stay at home care provider it is important that you determine what means you have to get back into the work force. The same should be true for your spouse as well if she has taken on the role as in home care provider to your family. Both parties should be financially responsible for bringing in a source of income after the divorce. Don’t rely on financial support from your significant other especially if you are a man. Getting spousal support is fairly uncommon for men in today’s society.

Getting a divorce is not easy. When going through a divorce seek support from friends as well as from an attorney that specializes in men’s divorce. Keep the future in your sites, keep a positive outlook, maintain your finances and work on moving forward.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at

Divorcing? Protect your finances, personal data

No doubt you’ve seen many warnings against sharing personal or financial information with strangers, but what about your spouse – or ex-spouse? A recent study by McAfee uncovered some unsettling results:

•Although 96 percent of adults surveyed trust their significant other with passwords, intimate photos and other personal content, only 32 percent have asked their ex to delete the information when ending the relationship.

•One in five people said they’re likely to log into their spouse’s Facebook account at least once a month.

Some 30 percent admitted they’d “cyber-stalked” their significant other’s ex on social media.

Given the high rate of divorce and how frequently marriages end acrimoniously, it’s not a big leap to think that a scorned lover could severely damage your credit and reputation. If you’re getting divorced, here are some important legal, financial and privacy considerations:

If you and your spouse are in complete agreement on how you wish to divide assets and settle debts, you may be able get by with a do-it-yourself divorce kit. It’s still wise to have a divorce attorney review the forms to make sure you haven’t overlooked anything.

If your separation is more complicated but relatively amicable, you may also want to try collaborative divorce, mediation or arbitration:

Collaborative divorce. Both parties retain a lawyer and the four of you hash out an agreement outside the courtroom. You each control the final agreement instead of having to abide by a judge’s decision.

Mediation. You each have lawyers but hire a third-party mediator to work through differences on critical issues. Mediators don’t have the legal authority to impose final decisions.

Arbitration. Like mediation, except that the arbiter hands down a binding agreement by which you each must abide.

If you can’t settle out of court, be prepared to possibly pay many thousands of dollars in attorney and court fees. Ask around for referrals to lawyers who specialize in divorce.

You may also want to consult a financial planning professional for advice on how to fairly divide property, calculate child support and ensure you’re sufficiently insured, as well as explain Social Security and retirement plan implications.

To protect your credit status, close joint bank and credit card accounts and open new ones in your own name; otherwise, an economically struggling or vindictive ex-spouse could amass debt in your name and ruin your credit. If your ex retains the house or car, make sure your name is taken off the loan so you’re not responsible if they flake on payments.

Be sure all closed accounts are paid off, even if you must transfer balances to your new account and pay them off yourself. That’s because late or unmade payments by either party on a joint account – open or closed – will damage both of your credit scores.

Check your credit reports before, during and after the divorce to make sure you’re aware of all outstanding debts and to ensure that all joint accounts were properly closed. The three major credit bureaus, Equifax, Experian and TransUnion, don’t always list the same accounts, so to be safe, order credit reports from each.

Change all passwords, PINs, and other information your ex could use to access your electronic devices and financial, email and social media accounts. Also, don’t email or post malicious or revealing information that could be damaging if presented in court.

Bottom line: Divorce can be a painful experience to live through. Don’t make it worse by not protecting your own financial interests.

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